Ask, Don’t Assume

We fill in the blanks all the time. Someone's tone changes, or a response feels short. A student behaves in a way we didn't expect, or a colleague seems distant. Before we know it, we've created a story about what happened or what someone meant.

Sometimes we're right. Sometimes we're not. Asking gives us a chance to find out.

A simple question can open up information we didn't have before. Asking doesn't mean we have to agree with the answer or excuse what happened. It simply allows us to understand more before deciding how to respond.

In the Back to Zero Framework, emotional awareness includes noticing the stories we may be telling ourselves about other people's actions.

Simple Practice

This week, notice when you begin filling in the blanks for someone else.

Before deciding what something means, try:

“Can you tell me more?”

or

“Help me understand what’s going on.”

Then listen.

Pause & Reflect

Where might I be assuming when I could be asking?

Sometimes one question gives us information that an assumption never could.

Ask. Listen. Learn a little more.

That's where the practice begins.

Love,
Dr. Joy