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Be Kind to Yourself

Updated: Mar 18, 2023

Joy Works Playlist Pick-Soulmate by Lizzo

True thing. Last week, I connected with a friend who I haven't spoken to in a while. They happen to be a personal trainer. They mentioned to me that they thought of me each time they passed my favorite coffee shop and wanted to meet there and catch up. The first thing I said out of my mouth was, "Okay, but I'm chubby don't judge me." I immediately caught myself and tried to take it back. Why would I automatically jump to the idea that my value to this person would increase or decrease based on my little weight gain? Most importantly, why would that negative thought be the first thing out of my mouth after that sweet and thoughtful invite to coffee? Their response to me was, "Be kind to yourself, I just want to have coffee with my friend."

How often do you say negative things to yourself about yourself? We need to stop. If we wouldn't dare say it to someone else, we damn sure shouldn't say it to ourselves. Unfortunately, it's easy to have a default negative response. My good friend Dr. Rosa Perez-Isiah (@RosaIsiah) reminded us in one of her informative social media posts yesterday that even though our brain may be hard-wired to focus on the negative, we can reprogram it.

When I saw this, I thought about how I can start reprograming that conversation I have in my head sometimes about my appearance. Look, let me be honest, I haven't had much discipline lately when it comes to working out consistently, and I know it takes discipline. In fact, if we were on our way to the gym right now and you said, "Hey Dr. Joy let's go get breakfast and mimosas instead," I would probably say, YUP!" However, I also know that I feel more confident when I am working out each day regardless of my pants size or my treats that I like to partake in. So, that conversation that I have with myself could shift from those negative thoughts about my body image to positive ways I can build my stamina and consistency with working out. You understand? Are there conversations that you are having with yourself right now that you need to shift?

We all have things that we want to improve about ourselves. That's a good thing. In the meantime, we have to love who we are...right now. Enjoy moments, people and places, as the people we are right now. Don't ever annihilate yourself with unkind and unloving thoughts and words about yourself. When we do this we are basically killing our own spirit. We need to automatically disagree with those type of thoughts. It's like you're having a conversation with yourself. In your mind you are thinking something negative about yourself and you immediately say, "Nah... I disagree."

Today, let's focus on creating an affirmation that includes 3 things we love about ourselves.

I'll start. My name is Dr. Joy. Not only am I beautiful, I am also bold and brilliant.

Okay, your turn.

Love, Dr. Joy

By the way, this morning, I'm about to walk my beautiful, bold, brilliant self up to my favorite coffee spot and enjoy time with my dear friend.

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